the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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