my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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