Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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