in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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