And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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