woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
