btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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