therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
