I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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