Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
