Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
