garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
That accounts for only three of the penises
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
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