Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
