All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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