Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize
