i think i have herpe
just one?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you win again, gameday.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
