That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
