Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
