he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
