I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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