actually, I'm a sock model
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
