well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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