She announced her abortion via fbk
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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