and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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