A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
