We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
