McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
