Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
My bed is full of blood and feathers
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
