Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
COCAINE IS GR8
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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