halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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