You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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