fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I am one with the molecules
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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