I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
