So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Just cropdusted the office
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Randomize
