Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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