I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
