What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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