Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
