her vagine was all disorganized.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
