Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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