i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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