This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Farmville is her only friend.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
