walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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