When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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