I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
