I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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