O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
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