Heybabeimwearingurpanties
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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