you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
either way he was missing a nipple.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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