The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
